On my Youtube channel I have made a few videos now talking about an eating disorder that I suffer from called Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). Prior to making these videos, I was embarrassed to even talk about it or even admit that my inability to eat a majority of foods was due to an eating disorder. One video I previously made was about my hypnotherapy experience, and that was about the extent of how I had tried to treat ARFID (aside from trying to just force myself to eat my veggies). Even though I couldn’t go to any sort of professional for help this year due to COVID, I was thankfully able to make a few short strides myself and try three new foods this year! I was able to identify 5 specific things that had a positive impact on my road to recovery, so I wanted to share my findings to hopefully help someone else out there who may be going through a similar struggle.
1.Support from friends and family is EVERYTHING! I used to be embarrassed when my friends and family would support me trying new foods because it felt like I was looking a part of my identity; I believed my restrictive diet was simply a representation of who I was. So when, the very few times that I tried new foods, everyone would be so shocked and say something along the lines of “who are you?!”, I would simply feel no desire to eat the new foods even if I liked them in order to avoid losing myself.
Now that I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate the support around me and understand that change is okay, usually a good thing, and is often compltely necessary (especially in my case). Learning about ARFID has also really helped me come to this conclusion. Now, when I tell friends and family about a new food that I’ve tried, they respond with enthusiasm and excitement that I can reciprocate because I am genuinely just as excited to be changing and taking another step toward recovery. Their support helps remind me that I’m not going through this alone and that I am surrounded by people who want to see me grow and be the best version of myself.
2. Although the people around me are supportive when I do try new foods, I don’t like feeling pushed to do so, so if I want to make any progress it’s directly my responsibility to figure out which food and how I’m going to do it. The way that I’ve managed to try three new foods this year (a record for me) is by finding foods that are similar to things that I already know I like. For example, I like meat, cheese, bread, and ketchup all separately, so I tried a cheeseburger for the first time and fell in love (picture Squidward, mid-Krabby patty chamber). Granted, I don’t love mixing foods and the thought of putting meat, cheese, and ketchup together sounded terrifying prior to eating it, but it made sense that, if I liked all of those things separately, they should also taste pretty good all together. I was also terrified of ground beef because I was convinced that it was drastically different from just meat because of its appearance, but once I realized that it was literally just meat, I was more open to giving a try because I knew I liked meat. I also really like pasta and cheese, so Alfredo sauce was a natural small step away from my traditional pasta with marinara that I’ve been so dedicated to my whole life. While taking these small steps away may seem like you’re making no progress in the beginning, small steps still get you to the finish line eventually!
Taking these small steps has also helped me realize that not every interaction with new food will be a bad one. I typically have very dramatic reactions when I dislike food and I fear those reactions, so I tend to avoid foods I dislike and thus don’t try ne foods in the fear of disliking them. By having interactions with foods that are new but that are similar to things I already like, I’m teaching my brain that there will be instances when I try new foods and actually like what I’m eating.
3. I also found that looking through really enticing pictures of the foods I want to eat tricks my brain into thinking they must be as delicious as they look, thus making them more desirable to eat. This is a pretty short point, but I feel like it’s helped me get more comfortable seeing foods that typically make me uncomfortable, which carries us into number 4.
4. Making my dog’s food has been a tremendous help when it comes to being exposed to foods I don’t like. This method didn’t necessarily help with the three foods I tried, but it is helping me just become more comfortable around food i dislike in general. vegetables are my number one trigger; the thing that I absolutely will not ever consider eating as of now. Like number 3, my fourth tip is to just increase your exposure to the foods you don’t like or that you’re scared to try. Prior to making my dog’s food from scratch, I couldn’t even look at vegetables without wanting to gag. When I first tried to buy broccoli at Whole Foods I froze in fear and couldn’t even touch it on the shelf. Now, after only a couple months of making her food myself, I’m able to grab all of the veggies, cut them, touch all over them, boil them, and even touch them when they’re all mashed up. I’m a pro at touching, looking at, and even smelling vegetables without any sort of physical reaction like gagging or panic attacks, and I like to think that’s thanks to my increased exposure to them. It will definitely take a while, but I think exposure is an important first step to eventually being able to eat them.
5. This final tip encompasses #2 and #4: be patient. Don’t rush into something you’re not ready for because you feel like you should be. ARFID is a really difficult thing to overcome, especially given the mental aspects of it, so those small steps are necessary to make any sort of progress. In 2019, one of my goals for the year was to simple eat vegetables. I didn’t lay out any sort of plan to do that, I just wanted it to magically happen. But, at the time, I wasn’t even willing to take the small steps before making that giant leap to the thing that I feared the most. this time last year, I never would have considered eating a cheeseburger… EVER! Even though that cheeseburger is made of things that I like and isn’t too far off fro the stuff that I already eat, I though that jumping straight into the things that I couldn’t even stand looking at was the best way to achieve my goal. You need to be patient and embrace the process and road to recovery; it’ll be a long one but it’s a unique journey that we all have to take at our pace and, eventually, with enough small steps, we can all make it past the finish line!